Drowsy reflections on a twilit universe

Monday, April 9, 2012

Honesty part I

She's a tired old town, and like an old dog struggling to nap in spite of its master's company, she doesn't take well to strangers, now or ever. She takes even less to strangers wanting a pat.

Traffic is bad. Well, was bad. Traffic implies movement in at least one direction. There's something stalling in considering the swell of industry here so many years ago that managed to turn the only dirt road into town a throbbing artery of steel and ambition. It didn't take long for that one road to become four. The town took less than a year to grow from a hopeful opportunity at the end of a long dusty line into a burgeoning nexus of unchecked proliferation. And it grew. And grew. And grew. Eventually as tall as it was wide. In fact where its landbound borders were halted only by the surrounding canyons and mountains in every eventual direction, the sky presented no such halting limit. To be sure, the very idea of entropy seemed as lofty as each new skyscraper gradually pricking its needle into the impossible blue above. This was real progress. There was as much breath and life and blood coursing through this city as any body organic. An endless hive of ignitious activity and dividing cells spawning bigger and brighter explorations of recombinant youth.

There was little attention to those historically stifling concerns of process, and security, and the paying of the piper when the piper came to town. A select few of us saw it a little earlier than the rest, but still too late for all the good it did us only to watch helplessly as our rapidly expanding universe grew predictably into a tumour, over which most of us became too heartbroken to stay and watch drain away into history again.

But stay some of us did. We watched as she continued to feed on the arrogant dream chasers that poured into town, oblivious to the signs of decay already sweeping out from its wounded heart like a ruinous coagulation of too much too soon. We watched as she fed, but was too tired to chew and too hungry to spit them out. It became exhausting, watching that horrible but elegantly designed extinction of dreams on such a massive scale. And before we knew it, before we could warn the others, it took us too. Our years of youth and promise swept away into the same dust and rock that had birthed us.

And then he came. Just as alone and oblivious and wide-eyed as all the rest. I can say confidently that there was not a single thing different about him than we had seen roll through here a thousand times before all of these last twenty-odd years. Not a single thing. Except for what he had brought with him.

And I don't think even he knew it at the time.







Monday, March 26, 2012

O Fortune

Alone together
We toss and turn
Swimming in the naked and the dead
A million echoes
One by one
Strung together like busted pearls
She forgives me my dreams
In their boundless descent
Of my unspoken whispers and unwoken fete
A ruinous dissolve of ev'ning light
Struck pale in the dying of the night
A sweet sickly warmth
Rapturous in its burnt almond finish
Were I to merely regret
The time I could not keep
The flesh that pulls and strains
At a heart not mine to keep
She is the etch
The imprint in my day
The ghost of all things present
And lost
Wine
And lips
And contours I will never touch
And sleep
Without rest



Sunday, February 19, 2012

Peace

Alone in this cold and windy frontier
Atop this pine-built nest of crows
She can see as far into the approaching night
As mine own heart can throw
All the future of Man ahead and crashing
Like the unbent dreams of a wistful child
Atop the bridled shoulders of a quieted father at the edge of life
This forest of salt and air and gull-cried oblivion
An eternity away from the womb
This ocean of worldly placenta
Time like an arrow; day like a bow
Broken by the hide of an oft-hunted beast
She dreams of the light
Of the warm red respite
Come only by the shores of the East.



Tuesday, November 29, 2011

The Opiate King

Desolate places the Opiate King reigning full o'er his truncated realm,
Teaching his queen such old words it would seem not been spoken since yoremen bore helm;

High in the hills of the barrenbought land high atop the mount's loneliest spire,
looks on the old crow with a heart full of woe as the king lays himself to retire;

Warm the wind blows as the evening grows staving off with a guilt-ridden hand,
cracked as the earth burns a fire in his hearth as our queen lays her king to expire;

Long does he draw his last breaths, weak and raw as he searches her eyes for his fate,
heavy with tears, on for each of his years does she whisper to sleep her sweet mate;

Long would he sleep long would his mistress weep within mortar as gray as his hair,
and so unto death uttered with his last breath ends the reign of our king with her prayer.



The Mad Diarist

-Day 3-
I can hear them...
...the voices...
It happened again today.
It was three in the afternoon, and I saw his face in the darkened mirror.
I can feel them watching me, and I can smell it. The fear. But it's only anguish to them... it doesn't catalyze into fear until I step into the room...
It's been a year, and I thought it was over... but it's not.
I can smell them again...



-Day 4-
They're here...
...frozen, sitting still like they know they've been seen.
The air literally froze from one second to the next, and I can feel them watching, waiting, trembling...
...it terrifies me, how they move...
The little one has sunk away into the corner again. It tried to scream but the other held its mouth.
WHY WON'T THEY LEAVE ME ALONE?!



-Day 7-
The air is heavier tonight...
.... they're getting smarter.
I tried frightening the little one again, but it didn't work this time.
It just stared at me, clicking its teeth like the others...
I can hear them now, breathing when the lights go out. But it's one long, undulating breath that builds like a cavernous wind until sunrise.
The little one isn't frightened anymore, but it still won't approach the door as long as I keep the mirror there.
I think they can smell my tears... when I cry the big ones stop clicking and I swear I can hear licking sounds.
They'll come for it eventually.
I haven't eaten since I arrived.
I don't know how long it's been for them...



-Day 10-
It broke today...
Well, I woke up and it was already smashed. The mirror. IT looks like they did it last night... but I was right here... how?!
The little one is gone, but he left tracks.
I can hear them in the closet, always chattering, always breathing... they're watching me fix the mirror...
There's a mark on the door, by the handle. It looks like a scratch-mark, but I cant be sure.
The sun is barely down, and already I can see the closet door open just a crack.
I left a shard of glass in the corner, I want him to SEE it.
I hope I don't scream tonight... I think they're starting to understand...







Two Card Shuffle

Carry the water 'round your feet
carry the water 'round your feet
trampl'd roses rushing past
how'd I get o'er you so fast
carry the water 'round your feet
Shine your lantern out into the night
shine your lantern out into the night
listen to the ocean tide
and what it brings from far and wide
shine your lantern out into the night
Remember what they told you when you left
remember what they told you when you left
remember what they told you when
they sacrific'd your only friend
remember what they told you when you left
Keep that promise that you made back home
keep that promise that you made back home
standing on that railway track
you told her one day you'd be back
oh keep that promise that you made back home
Sing this song when you can't run no more
sing this song when you can't run no more
rest your weary bones at night
and like a sacrificial rite
sing this song when you know what it's for



Of Art

It is this very notion of living on the periphery of life. Of making one’s bread and butter out of the spoils of society’s leisure. Where is nobility in that? In waking each day and rather than feeding or building or serving or teaching or policing or healing the world, you provide and take payment merely for your contribution to your countrymen’s decadent obsessions? What’s more, that in doing so you may well enjoy a measure more of infamy in this life and beyond for your aesthetic productions than the healers and farmers and teachers who form the real clockwork of life.

We may claim, as auteurs, to enrich the lives of those we touch either directly or through our productions. We may take solace and indeed defend our course in life by claiming to take the edges off of the world for those struggling to hold it together. We may neither show nor offer any hand in shaping the pattern of incarnate life, though we may just as surely convince ourselves that it is our vision that steadies the secular hand along the seams. Nor may we even pretend ourselves the glue which binds this pattern into a whole.

Art, that ever permeable atmosphere that is invisible to most, yet virtually rapturous to those devout enough to give it berth and accept its omniscience. It is at once the most fallible and sentient of endeavours, subject to all manner of practice and applied effort, and yet entirely unthreatened by any categorical scrutiny toward criticism. It is a pursuit considered chiefly frivolous in the wake of societal pursuits toward the sustenance and betterment of humankind; cast aside for the urgent application of medicine, construction, and public service. It is acknowledged and adored by nearly every member of civilization on a level, and yet still it is cast aside to the fringes of nominal human pursuit. It is considered a luxury of faculty, and yet remains the prime force behind our own creation according to our accepted Scripture – for it had been not science, not study, nor idle play that delivered life into the cradling bosom of the universe grand, but Art that our Father employed in Heaven.

And so it is at that great demarcation of mind and spirit in which we find perhaps the single greatest achievement of Art in all of its storied history – the cataclysm of Science’s own introspection. While it would be folly to debate the precedence of either house against the other, it can not be argued convincingly that without one present to (objectively) antagonize the other, there would arise no need for the definition of either. After all, it is scarcely worth identifying the disdain of any studious Scientist at the mere thought of approaching his work with the same flippancy toward mechanical process as employed (if the manner of pursuit can even be referred to as such!) by the Artist toward his respective craft.